He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
