I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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