Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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