i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
