dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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