It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i think im in europe. pls send help
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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