I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
