Having a random hookup so left but love u
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
