We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
