he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
