I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
