i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
