you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Is it penis luge time yet?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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