dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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