Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
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