I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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