he puts the penis in happiness.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
