He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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