Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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