I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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