My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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