Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
