There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
