I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
