I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
