woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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