ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
