THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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