she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
