Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
