I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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