Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
