Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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