Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
