definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
