when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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