It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
