Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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