I wanna bring you to show and tell
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
