literally had 100 drinks last night.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
