well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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