We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize