Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize