yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
