i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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