I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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