if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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