Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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