Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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