Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
