His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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