Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
