3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
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