Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Can Purell be used as lube?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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