OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
