Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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