im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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