I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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