He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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