when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize