he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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